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Bathroom Sinks Vandalized in Viral “Devious Lick” TikTok Trend

Sink with no faucet.

By Nathan Kuczmarski ’22

Sometime between last Friday and this Monday two faucets from an Ignatius bathroom vanished. Monday during the lunch period, a larger-than-usual crowd of students circulated through the area commenting on the disappearance. 

“This devious lick stuff is getting out of hand,” said one student while another gestured to a sink still with faucets asking “who’s gonna help me take this?”

Other students seemed confused after seeing the headless sinks as a senior wondered, “maybe someone’s faucet at their house broke and they needed to get a new faucet. That’s the only thing I could think of. I don’t know how to explain that.”

In the search for the cause, Assistant Principal for Student Discipline Mr. Franzinger said “it’s probably something that’s done for social media attention and popularity. I don’t know why else it would be done. Unless somebody has a future desire to become a plumber and wanted to explore some plumbing.”

Principal Dr. Anthony Fior lent more information: “I’m familiar with the recent adolescent movement of ‘devious lick’ and TikTok things where young men who are still trying to find their best selves determine it’s funny and/or cool to steal small items-–sometimes large items like buses–-and do little videos, self-serving videos.” 

Dr. Fior called the supposed robbery “foolish” and added “should we discover any of our young men, who we hold to higher standards, doing such things there will be some severe consequences.” 

In a similar tone, Mr. Franzinger, searching surveillance footage for the perpetrator, said “common sense may be lacking. Appreciation for the school may be lacking. Then who knows, some students may be missing from the community soon.” 

Neither administrators revealed any knowledge of the identity of the thief or thieves. However, a video anonymously submitted to The Eye lends more insight.

It seems to take place inside Rade dining hall’s bathroom with white text outlined in black on top reading “we just hit an absolute devious lick.” A pixelated and barely recognizable face of a boy stands wearing a plaid shirt and the navy tie with wildcat ‘I’s on it which is dispersed to all students upon acceptance. In the background, a high-pitched, sped-up rap song echoes as the cameraman shifts to the boy’s hand. He grips a silver gooseneck-shaped faucet then lunges for the decapitated sink’s left handle letting a flood of water rocket into the air splashing against the mirror. The person can be seen through the warped reflection jumping back then quickly leaning forward again with one hand outstretched to turn off the water. The video then ends, all in under 10 seconds. 

This fall, students across the country have decided to take up petty theft as a pastime and share their finds on the social media app TikTok. This event seems to fit with the movement.

The phrase in the video “devious lick” was coined to describe the loot attained stemming from the phrase “hit a lick” which is defined by Urban Dictionary as “a successful type of theft which results in an acceptable, impressive and rewarding payday for the protagonist.”

The videos are popular with over 900 million views under #lick on TikTok. Some categorize the videos as harmless pranks, but others take greater issue as they could potentially be misdemeanor or felony theft if prosecuted.

In addition to legal issues, Director of Campus Operations, Mr. Derek Egnatowski, estimated the price to replace the commercial-grade faucets could be “anything between $300-$400 each.” He continued, “when you get labor involved and the time spent, it’s easily going to approach a thousand dollars” for the two sinks. 

He also noted that supply shortages may limit the speed of replacement. “So the parts may be available but it could be an 8-10 week lead time. In that case we’re just going to try to replace the whole faucet instead of the missing or damaged parts.”

“We now have to spend money, so that all takes away from us contributing our time and our budget towards–whether it’s repairing worn out equipment, beautifying the campus, which we’re preparing to do now with the Fall coming, and all of that.”

As for student discipline, Mr. Franzinger considers various options given the trend’s influence on the event. “Should it be more severe because someone didn’t have the guts to reject one of these stupid trends? Or should it be less severe? Or neutral?”  

Mr. Franzinger then threw in “who knows, maybe I did it.” He laughed as he added, “through the secret entrance to the restroom.” 

“I just think it’s stupid,” Dr. Fior said as he broke into laughter. 

Saint Ignatius Community Reacts to Bishop Sycamore

By Carmen Caserio ’22

On the afternoon of Sunday, August 29, 2021, the highly touted IMG Academy high school football team faced off against Ohio’s own Bishop Sycamore on ESPN. Despite hopes for an even match, IMG Academy embarrassed the Ohio-based school with a score of 58-0. As a result, suspicions have ensued regarding the true reality existence of Bishop Sycamore.

According to ESPN, the school’s founder Andre Peterson claims “the school has an academic component, despite not being listed as a charter school by the Ohio Department of Education.” However, in a recent article posted by USA Today, Bishop Sycamore’s new coach explains that “‘We are not a school.’” Moreover, The Guardian reveals that “one of Bishop Sycamore’s listed addresses turned out to be a college library. Another was a training facility with no classrooms.” Consequently, the school’s existence seems, at the very least, in question. In addition, Sports Illustrated highlights that “The Sycamore roster includes postgraduate players who are as old as 19 or 20,” adding insult to injury regarding the truth behind Bishop Sycamore’s football team.  

While a multitude of articles discuss Bishop Sycamore’s rise to national attention, a variety of student reactions to the controversy provide a greater glimpse into what this issue looks like from the perspective of “fellow” high schoolers.

When asked about his thoughts on the recent events, one Ignatius student said, “It sickens me… I don’t see how faking high school is going to get you anywhere.” He went further to criticize Bishop Sycamore’s mentality in emphasizing, “If you can make the team for a school that doesn’t exist, how will you make the team for an actual college.” Similarly, a proud cross country runner exclaimed, “That was crazy!” He stressed that “That would never happen on the cross country team.” Finally, he called out the controversy in the first place, saying, “I am very disappointed in the OHSAA.” For the record, OHSAA never officially recognized the team. On a different note, Jeffrey Calkins said, “It’s funny,” looking at the entire issue from a more jovial standpoint. Lastly, one student mocked the school’s losing record, saying, “Imagine being a bunch of twenty year olds and losing to high schoolers.”

When brought to the attention of our own Athletic Director, Mr. Rory Fitzpatrick expressed a similar reaction, though, in a more tempered and informed manner. Mr. Fitzpatrick explained that in years past when the Saint Ignatius football team faced off against Bishop Sycamore, he could tell that they were “not a traditional school” and typically were not as organized as other schools. Moreover, Mr. Fitzpatrick emphasized that “The fact that they are playing with older kids is a problem,” expressing concern about player safety. He concluded given the new evidence that “it would be difficult for them to ever find another game to play.”

Evidently, the series of events that have precipitated following the blowout on Sunday, August 29, 2021 have served to shed more light on the true existence of Bishop Sycamore. At this point, all we can do is wait to hear more information as the Ohio Department of Education continues its efforts to understand the reality behind the high school.

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As a quick side note, I would like to thank all of those who contributed their thoughts to this article, especially Mr. Fitzpatrick and Jeffrey Calkins.

Findings

by Joseph Pandoli ’22

“Good Evening, what appears to be the newsiance gentleman?”

“You know the same old same old, Parker.”

“You better get him before there is more bloodshed, else you’re out of a job and the same goes for Hector.”

“Will do, Mr. Patterson.”

I can’t remember a single day where we had time to wind down and have a conversation with anyone at the association. It’s been so long since I was a police officer and it was surprisingly less stressful than this fairly new job. Even though this was more stressful than my last job, I enjoy working as a detective because it keeps my mind in check with what I need to do. At least I think it does.

Hector and I got to the scene as quickly as possible and when we got there, we got a terrifying scene. The victim was completely dismembered and it was hard to tell who it was. We found out from one of the friends of the victim that he had many businesses throughout Republic and Donland city. She escorted us to one of the nearest ones and found that the people in that place were also dismembered. The horror on her face led her to tears. Goosebumps were already filling up my entire body. Shivers throughout my spine and a cold feeling that we would be next. In the face of all this, Hector was as calm as a toad in the sun. He’s the one who is the most level headed out of all in the association. 

“I assume we are off to the second business complex, right Hector?

“That is correct, we must go immediately.”

When we got to the complex, we found a clump of tissue next to the front door that had a location for one of the businesses that the victim owned. 

“Stay here while I go to this place. Make sure you can handle yourself, Louis .”

“Yes,” I said nervously. 

It was revealed to me that this place was the place where the person we are looking for was. I was scared of what was going to happen. When I walked in, I had no fear or shooting them and so I did, all of them with no remorse for their actions. Apparently after shooting all of them, I made the biggest mistake of my career. This was a setup according to the back side of the tissue note I found.  

“Explode,” said someone near me.

Was this the end or was this the beginning? Instantly the building came crashing down with debris flying like it was a dust storm, and the sound from the walls colliding with each other made me ponder on something completely irrelevant to the mission. 

“Is she going to be alright, sir?”

I didn’t know why I was thinking about this all of a sudden at a time and place like this, it was almost as if time was moving slower than usual. A picture appeared in front of me of Hector getting his first mission at the association, the first time and last time I ever saw him smile. 

“Aghh!” 

I felt a stiffness in my left hand and then a crack. Blood started to come out as if it were out of a drinking fountain for no reason. I turned to my left side and saw something I would only see if I were crazy. 

“What the…Bang!”
I looked at my left hand and saw that I was missing half of my left hand. I saw this just before something hit me on the head and left me dizzy. Just then, an emotion came coursing through my whole body. Something I never felt before came over me, and it was the feeling of accepting something. Time was really moving slower than I realized and I could still think of all this while I was falling to my fate. 

“Is this…the end…for me?” 

It was the last thing I remember saying. 

 


 

“So this is the place where all of this started, right Victor?”

“Of course,” said Victor calmly.

“One of the things I admire most about you is your effort, Hector. Your effort and ambition to do almost anything you set your mind to, but I know you can do everything and I assume you know that after losing her.”

“Dorsey was someone you could compare to…she was an angel,” said Hector, angrily with a stern look.

“An angel with no wings to fly, that’s how she died. She just wasn’t free enough to save herself, am I right?”

“Wow! A punch!” 

“Make that a reminder for yourself that if you push me too far, I won’t show any mercy to you or your family,” said Hector.

“Don’t worry, you won’t be alive to do it. Now!” said Victor.

“Really, this trick? You’ve always had a big mouth, but you were always a loser. 

“You’ll get what you deserve soon enough, Victor, I’ll make sure of that,” said Hector jumping from the collapsing building. 

“Heh, not this time, Patterson.”

 


 

 It was numb, my whole body. A migraine filled my head and pain everywhere except my left hand and a burning sensation that I could not figure out where it was coming from.

“Don’t worry, you’re safe with us, Louis Lawlet.

“Allow me to introduce myself, Mr. Lawlet. I am Akari Hikigaya, director of HRR in the association.” 

“Ummm…what?” I said confusedly and still in pain. 

“You might be wondering why you never heard of the HRR before in the association,” said Hikigaya.

“Let me tell you something. It was back 20 years ago right when this association started. The founder, who we still don’t know, wanted to split the association into three parts: HRR- which stands for Health, Repair, Redemption- is one of them. The founder of the association wanted all of the 3 parts to be fairly separated in work activities and jobs, but always be connected when such an event happens like this.” 

I wasn’t comprehending all of what Akari was saying, but nonetheless gave me more insight into this agency that I heard very little about. The only thing on my mind was how I am still alive and what is going to happen to me, basically anxiety and fear of the unknown took hold of my brain.

“So what is actually happening, Mr. Hikigaya?” 

“Please can me Hiki, but right now, we are going to change and repair your arm to make it more efficient and effective in your missions/assignments. Everyone in the HRR agency knows what happened to you and Hector and are working hard to have you both get back to your missions.” 

I was still worried about what they were going to do with me, especially my left arm, but somehow I felt like I could trust these people even if I don’t know them well, all this while I was being put into something that was almost like a capsule thing.

“Ladies and gentlemen of the HRR agency, I present to you the next step in humanity, the next step in Evolution!” said Hiki with enthusiasm.

Right then and now, I fell asleep but still had control of my mind. I felt like I was in another dimension, or another world. However, it was hard for me to experience what was going on, on the outside. All of a sudden I feel that if I was experiencing the same event I went through at the business complex, then everything went blank. 

“After six hours of long waiting, I present to you Louis the Etith #1,” said Hiki with no enthusiasm. 

“Why do I feel new? Explain please, anyone?” I said in confusion.

Everyone was tired and couldn’t even speak, except Hiki. 

“It took six hours for us to complete your upgrade on your arm, but for you it probably felt like six minutes. The reason being is that we used several quantum computers to help with our Etith #1 experiment on you for your hand and arm. Using the quantum computers for the purposes of the capsule-like pod, it made you enter another dimension for the allotted time it took to complete the upgrade, and that’s why it felt like six minutes for you and six hours for us.”

“Thanks Hiki, but I am still confused about what happened to my arm”

“Oh, it’s basically a normal arm with a color code, but with a few differences. Your arm acts like a separate brain. It is somewhat like muscle memory but much more intelligent. Now, your hand has more abilities at its disposal and can help you tremendously in your missions.”

At that moment, I felt amazed by my new arm and hand, but also worried if anything bad would happen. Then that’s why I worried about Hector and found out that he was in the HRR agency as well being repaired. He had the same problem as I did but on his right hand and arm. Thankfully he was alright; however, he was still distressed about something.

“I hope you are doing better Hector,” I said.

“We must go find Victor now,” said Hector with a stern look.

“Why are you so stressed, did something happen between you and Victor?”

Hector was apparently furious with what I just said and he walked out of the HRR agency. It wasn’t long until Mr. Patterson found us both and asked us some questions.

“Hello gentlemen, what seems to be the hurry?” asked Patterson.

“Well, I am just trying to get Hector to talk,” I said.

“There is no time to talk, only to assassinate,” said Patterson firmly.

“That’s right,” said Hector.

“If you are wondering where Victor has been hiding, look here,” said Patterson

It was in this file Mr. Patterson showed us Victor’s profile. I was amazed by how close this person is to Hector in terms of family.

“We have no time to waste, let’s go now Louis,” said Hector.

Hector rushed out of the door of the association and went for the other complex that Victor is hiding at. It was when I got there, I saw Hector build off with rage to the point where he screams so loudly that you could’ve heard it for miles on end. He went into the building with only one thought in his mind and that was to kill Victor, I could see it in his eyes. 

“Don’t bother coming up here Louis,” said Hector with such malice and rage.

I couldn’t believe what Hector became. I was still in shock by how fierce he got all of a sudden. I was scared to go up with Hector because I wouldn’t know what he would do to me, but I am also afraid that he might be killed by Victor somehow, ughh so many thoughts and worries.

Suddenly I heard five bangs coming from the middle floor of the building. Then he came down ominously and said to me:

“It is finished, the deed is done” 

I was scared for him because I didn’t know what happened up there and what happened to him. I was all but freaking out about everything.

When we both went back to the association, everyone started to cheer for the deed we’ve done. Everyone somehow knew that Victor was dead and that it was a major success in eliminating the victim’s enemy and avenging his death. 

“Great job guys, you totally just got promoted,” said Tony with excitement.

“Soon you guys will be working with me,” said Julie with her face all happy.

Then suddenly, I heard Hector speak again, but in a much calmer tone than before.

“Yes it is finished. I am glad we took him out as soon as possible. Now the possibilities are endless for us, right Louis?

I was confused where all this nice attitude came from within Hector, but I was happy that he was back from his miserable state.

“Yes, you’re right, Hector. Let’s see what our next assignment is.”

“Yes, you both are right. All will be revealed soon enough,” said someone in the back.

“It’s only a matter of time.”

Sightings

by Joseph Pandoli ’22

Ships sail on the grey smoke: some with decks empty, checking ropes
And one taking their last glimpses
A Seagull screeches, falling behind the wooden framed house
Five ships have draw by and away
On a full moon, we laugh together
In the mornings, I would search
Some slow days with other stories being taller than a mast
Paintings and drawings of some weeping
Others of ships
Some with sails, some with oars
Breaking apart in wild waves
With women like bleached bones on the beach looking out to the sea
Once they told me future,
It was my past that betrayed me
I prayed to God and threw doves to the wind
At last, the sun breaks away
Clouds and the light dimed in the window
The cup with bull fresh
I checked it into the soaring sky
Towards the distant ships
Ready for it’s return

I Hear Saint Ignatius High School Singing

by Joseph Pandoli ’22

I hear Saint Ignatius High School singing, the varied carols I hear,
Those of IT, each one singing theirs as it should be cryptic and coded.
The Grounds Keepers singing theirs as they plant their bouquet of flowers or trees,
The Security singing theirs as they make ready for the lookout, or leave off the shift,
The Managers singing what belongs to them in their field, the Secretaries singing on the sideline,
The Builders singing as they sit on their worksite, the Students singing theirs as they prepare for class,
The Staff’s song, the Faculty’s on their way to the conference, or at Zoom, or at the office,
The Freshman Parents singing of goodbye, or of the young Freshman about to begin his journey, or of the Boy eating or working,
Each singing what belongs to the community–at school the board of education,
Singing with open mouths their strong melodious songs.

12 Birds

by Owen Seckers ’24

In the forest I see so many birds,
In fact, the sheer number of them is a little absurd.
So I’ll just name twelve of my favorite ones:
There are robins, cardinals, and wrens, underneath the sun.
Sparrows, blue jays, and mourning doves, who love to eat,
And hawks, falcons, who catch other birds under their feet.
Then there are woodpeckers, goldfinches and chickadees too,
Finally, there is the red-winged blackbird with it’s high-pitched coo.
I love to watch these birds in the wild, whether they are in a river or a nest,
There are many more birds out there, but these twelve are the best.

I Hear Saint Ignatius High School Singing

by Owen Seckers ’24

I hear Saint Ignatius High School singing, the varied carols I hear,
Those of teachers, each one singing theirs as it should be smart and fun.
The students singing theirs as they complete their homework or test,
Dr. Fior singing his as he makes ready for announcements, or leaves off work,
The custodian singing what belongs to him in his cart, the mop singing on the bucket,
The coaches singing as they sit on their bench, the whistle singing thiers as they blow,
The priest’s song, the lunch lady’s on her way in the morning, or at noon or at 3:00,
The angry singing of the dean of students as he reprimands a student for forgetting his tie, or of the young SEP campers at camp, or of the player playing or learning,
Each singing what belongs to him or her and to none else,
The school what belongs to the school—at night the nature of animals,
Singing with open mouths their strong melodious songs.

Marrow

by Jack Kingston ’24

Monstrous canines lacerate those unfortunate enough
Around the depths of the wilderness to have survived the winter.
Ripping apart those fauna without their desired defenses,
Ravenous wolves succulently lick their maws, decadently devouring.
Over the defeated corpses of herbivorous prey, the barons of the forest
Without hesitation hunt mercilessly, never giving warning or respite.

Before the Winter

Copyright Scott Thompson

by Jack Kingston ’24

Blowing gently on unbounding meadows
Pleasant breezes blow, as waving grasses
Fleetingly hum their evensongs. Though they’ll
Soon capitulate to freezing storms, peace reigns.

Restful deer in timbered clearings, without
any apprehensive signs, dream peacefully.
Auburn leaves drift across their nest,
Enveloping them with vibrant blankets.

Wistful passerines, since perched through mottled
branches, remember their seasons that’ve passed
Berries hanging throughout their home’s verdance
Defenseless insects on lifeless hardwood.

As the autumn declines and winter approaches,
The wilderness makes its past dues.

Topping Your Pizza

by Jack Kingston ’24

Pizza’s a delicious munch
From chewable cheese to the crust’s crunch
With such an assortment of delights for shopping
There’s sure to be some delectable toppings
Pepperoni, cheese, and jalapeno
Pineapples, chicken bites, with avocado
Beef, pork, mutton, with some slices of habanero
Bell peppers, brussel sprouts, for Italian aficionados
Tomatoes and olives, shrimp and sausage
For pescatarians, we’ve got all kinds of sea bass
Anchovies, mackerels, cod, without nutritional lossage
Spinach, bacon, onions, it’s almost kind of crass
Fried, sauteed mushrooms, beans and crushed tortilla chips
Blue cheese, salsa, and barbecue sauce
Clams, prawns, and garlic, with any mozzarella dips
And if you’re really feeling generous, top with albatross.

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