Four Tips To Get You To Class On Time

By NICHOLAS  EATON ’13
& JOE GINLEY ’12
Eye Staff Reporters

Waking up to an ungodly scream eminating from the mouth of Mr. Wimbiscus, you are horrified to discover that the bell rung minutes ago. You have Mr. Arko next period. What are you going to do?

This scenario is every frosh’s nightmare. To help facilitate flustered freshmen’s fears, here are four tips so that you can get to class on time- and in one piece.

1. Unless you are Winston Eng, you will not get to class on time by using the Main Staircase. Even Moses would have trouble parting the sea of students entering the Main Building between periods. Instead, utilize the the alternate entrance and the Jesuit Staircase. And on your way, why not pick up a free mint from Mrs. Fitzpatrick’s desk? Estimated time of transit from room 202 to room 419 for a freshman with a 36 lb. bookbag: 4 minutes, fifty seconds. Estimated time of transit on the same route for a senior with a 5 lb. bookbag: 7 minutes, ten seconds.

2. If you want to be crushed by an onslaught of traffic, by all means take the main Loyola Staircase. Rather, use the Bookstore Staircase. Plus, you can grab a Coca-Cola on the way for a quick sugar rush on your way to your next class. You will find that the Bookstore Staircase is a much safer way to class, especially if you are a five foot nothing frosh.  Estimated time of transit for aforementioned freshman from room 215 to room 224: three minutes, fifty-five seconds. Estimated time of transit on the same route for the senior: five minutes, three seconds.

3. For the talented texters of the student body, this tip will make them “lol”. The Sullivan Staircase is a prime spot for eating, texting, and general tomfoolery because it is rarely patrolled. In addition, it is a great way to get to math class or even gym, err physical education. However, Mr. Becker has been known to occasionally search the area for scared, stray sophomores, so beware. Estimated time of transit for the freshman from room 237 to physical education: one minute, ten seconds. For the senior: four minutes, forty-five seconds.

4. The best route has been saved for last. Students avoid it like a corny Mission Impossible movie. Even its name–the Secret Staircase–suggests that it is the work of a washed up Hollywood director. However, the Secret Staircase is the best route on campus. Virtually no one takes it, which makes it ideal to a student in distress. One side suggestion- be careful to cross the the Back Quad’s grassy knoll only when Mr. Michals is nowhere in sight. If you aren’t wary, you will be sorry. Estimated time of transit for the freshman from room 319 to room 231: three minutes, fifty seconds. As for the senior: four minutes, fifty-nine seconds.

Hopefully, these tips will help alleviate the pains of a “caf duty”, or worse, an after-school tardy. If you want to avoid being mauled on the way to class, freshmen, then take heed. However, these tips are not the “Ultimate Reality” of getting to class. One still needs to use discretion and be careful not to anger Mr. Hennessey or a teacher in utilizing these tips. If you do, then, as Mr. Popelka says, “The tears will be real.””

Freebies make work fun, but in tough economic times, employment is its own reward.

By JAMES STANITZ ’11

Does summer reading count?”

By JOE MAZHUVANCHERY ’14
  
On September 21,  following his address to the Ignatius studnet body, select students, teachers, and administrators were able to share food and continued conversation with the honored guest speaker of the day, Cedric Jennings.

The luncheon started with a welcoming introduction from our Principal Mr. Corrigan. Mr. Jennings followed with a prayer of thanksgiving for the wonderful food that was provided. Students and teachers went table by table lining up for a delicious lunch o f breaded chicken, salad, side dishes, and desert.
 
During lunch, students were given the opportunity to  ask Mr. Cedric Jennings questions.   Among the interesting facts that emerged in the luncheon:   Cedric Jenning’s is a vegetarian!

Freshman Vincent Hwang found the event a worthwhile experience.  “Obviously the food was very good,\” he said, \”and it was very interesting to learn more about Cedric and his journey through high school, college, and the world beyond.””

By CONOR DEDEK ’12
Eye Staff Reporter

The phrase \”extracurricular activities,”

Musings from the Not-so-Oval Office

Dear Ignatius Community:

Welcome to the 2010-11 school year. Welcome freshman cats, graduating class of 2014, to the school. I would like to begin by offering my advice to the Freshman.  Always re-arrange posters on Mr. Zebrak’s wall; he also enjoys when the windows are open fully. Always erase the notes on Mr. Howard’s boards with your bookbags as you walk by. Always remember to send countless e-mails about lost items (You’ll learn the rest as you go). If you follow these rules and others, your time at Ignatius should be a nice, smooth ride.

With the fall dance completed, Student Senate is off to a great and busy start.

An event that involved an incredible amount of people around the school was Homecoming. This year, \”A Night in Space,”

Dance smashes attendance record, ‘Mission Accomplished’ declares Razek   Administration 

By JAMES STANITZ ’11
Eye Staff Reporter

The only \”space”