by Pat Nemeth ’14
Macklemore needed twenty dollars. Senior Zach Keirn, thrift shopping aficionado, manages to freshen up his wardrobe with only five. Zach has had a fair amount of practice though; he has been paying visits to the Salvation Army and Unique Thrift multiple times a month since far before it was cool to go thrifting. Don’t call him hipster though because he will snap at you. According to Zach, that particular brand of homegrown elitism ranks worse than the kids who wear unlaced Timberlands in non-inclement weather. This TOMS-wearing senior has ample advice for the poor dressers of Wildcat High on boosting their fashion collections, thrifty shopping, the rationale behind his latest purchases and how to take personal dress game to a whole new level.
“You can never have too many clothes, but more importantly, you can never look too swagged out.” Zach said, explaining why and how he shops at thrift stores. His newest purchases include a fine pair of sky-blue elastic workout sweats and a black and neon pink sweater. They fit right in with the striking neon clothes and countless sweaters (six of which feature cats) stuffed in his closet.
Zach, a man with impeccable taste, has as little trouble as Eye dating advice columnist Joe Latkovitch when it comes to the ladies. He actually met one of his ex-girlfriends from a conversation that was sparked by one of his sweaters. Unfortunately, Zach said that he likes the single life, explaining that his inner spirit animal refuses to be tied down.
But he is willing to share the secrets of his success with the school community. For any students who are looking to ramp up their dress game and swag, Zach offers this advice, “Don’t try to be different; just be you.”
Unless, of course, that means being a hipster boasting unlaced Tim’s. Zach disavows the hipster community and what he views as hipsters’ boundless elitism – as Principal Bradesca would say, “Don’t be that guy.”
