By MATT HRIBAR ’12
Eye Staff Writer
I don’t particularly care for Christmas music. Especially when Christmas music begins playing on 106.5 on November 9th. However, I do indulge myself in the richness of Christmas music once December rolls in. This year, I decided to scout out the worst Yuletide music that has ever been written and played:
5) 12 Days of Christmas
This song is an annoying and repetitive song. I know that I wouldn’t want to receive 184 birds in 12 days, so why would I give that as a gift? It sounds like a Hitchcock movie. And lastly, who has $87,403 to spend on their true love in those twelve days? Last time I checked, we were in a recession. Sorry, true love I’m not Oprah.
4) Last Christmas (I Gave You My Heart) by George Michael
You can add this horribly corny song to Michael’s charges. It’s the season of love and family, not the time of bad relationships and swindling. George, or should I say Debbie Downer, needs to save the drama for his mamma. During Christmas Dinner.
3) Santa Baby
To me, Christmas music is about Jesus and maybe Santa Claus. Well, Santa Baby takes Christmas Music to new levels of inappropriateness. And besides, this song is slower than molasses in January.
2) Grandma Got Ran Over By a Reindeer
It wouldn’t be Christmas, if one’s grandmother doesn’t get hurt. Also, doesn’t it give you guilt knowing that she got ran over: ‘walking home from our house Christmas Eve’? And you didn’t even offer her a ride home! Everyone’s sitting at your house eating Christmas ham and opening gifts while elderly ladies are walking home in below degree whether. If a reindeer ran over my grandmother, she would be serving it with cranberry sauce the next day.
1) I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus
Can you say awkward? To be serious, who can even think that this song is acceptable? As for the mother and Santa Claus, I hope this song doesn’t violate a commandment. What example does that set for little ones when their parents are cheating on each other with Christmas characters?
